Scarred
by Waking Hyde
Summary: Yuuta always learned from his brother's mistakes and accidents, until Syuusuke, aged nineteen, lost his face.


Aged five, Fuji Syuusuke received a scar at his temple for jumping in his parents' bed. Eager to entertain himself and his younger brother Yuuta, the oldest Fuji son had sneaked into their parents' bedroom, and shown Yuuta the joys of bouncing at the soft mattress. Though Fuji would later be known as a calm, gentle boy, he had his fair share of recklessness as a child. It was while Yuuta stared in awe at his wondrous older brother that Syuusuke came too close to the edge of the mattress and slipped, knocking his head against the headboard. Yuuta had, of course, screamed the very moment he saw his brother fall, and their older sister Yumiko had rushed to the ailing child's help at once. After a visit to the ER, Syuusuke was fortunate enough to come out of the experience with only a few stings and a bruised temple. Needless to say, neither brother ever jumped in bed again.

Aged eleven, Fuji Syuusuke knocked out one of his front teeth and split his lip as he sled down a hill. Just like any other boy of his age, Syuusuke had rejoiced when snow came, for once, and he had enjoyed taking his sleigh out to play in the park, just like any other child. Along with his friends, he did this as often as he could, for the snow did not last long. One day, however, his sleigh got caught in a chunk of ice on his way down the hill, and he veered out of course. Syuusuke barely even registered the tree in front of him before he felt the pain, and a warm flood of blood. Later that night, Yuuta had asked why Syuusuke and their father had not come home yet. Yumiko replied that he had a small accident, and had to visit the doctor. Dentist appointments would follow Syuusuke a whole year after the incident. Later, Yuuta would never ride down a hill if there were trees closer than ten meters on each side.

Aged fifteen, Fuji Syuusuke tore up his lower arm when he fell on his bicycle. It was spring, and Syuusuke was eager to get home after tennis practice; Yuuta was home on vacation from St. Rudolph, and he had looked forward to the visit for a long time. However, it was late, and the streets were getting dark. The pavement was littered with pebbles to avoid people from slipping in the winter cold, especially when the ice came on the road. Once of the remaining chunks of ice, though, caused an unfortunate slip just as the oldest Fuji son was about to round a corner. The bike slid out underneath him, and Syuusuke's exposed lower arm took the brunt of the fall, right on the pebbles. Syuusuke registered the hurt, but picked himself up to ride home. After all, it was only another block away. Yuuta, however, was not prepared to see his brother come inside, arm dripping of blood while Syuusuke himself appeared to barely notice. Even years later, Yuuta frowned to see that the long, ugly scar was still visible. In the years that followed, even if he had cycled for years and years already, Yuuta would take care to measure each turn carefully before continuing around it.

Aged nineteen, Fuji Syuusuke lost his face in an accident at a bar.

It was not as if Yuuta was a stranger to injuries and blemishes. After all, he's had his fair share over the years as well, just like any other young boy would. But it was never extreme; a scrape here and there, unfortunate enough to have the little scratch turn into a thin scar. He had actually been quite fortunate, growing up like he did; he could only remember visiting the hospital once, due to a broken arm after he fell from a tree as a first-grader. Syuusuke had reprimanded him for that later, of course, much to young Yuuta's chagrin. Because who was his brother to talk about unfortunate, but unpredictable events, when he seemed to attract them like moths to a flame? Yuuta would hardly consider himself vain, but when comparing himself to his brother's many accidents, he was only glad he was never the victim. He did, despite popular belief, enjoy his visage without tales of damage.

Not counting the scar he proudly bore on his forehead, of course, though that was more of a tribute to his brother.

Not that Syuusuke ever seemed to consider himself victimized; he was a beautiful boy, enough to attract the attention of girls and boys alike. Despite the many attempts Fate had made to take away whatever pleasure one might get from watching his face, Syuusuke strutted through life without anyone ever noticing. Some things can get patched up, healing with time. _Time heals all wounds. _Though some left their mark, Syuusuke barely spent any energy hiding them. Should he be expected to think of nothing else, even when he was born more beautiful than most? No, Syuusuke would casually ignore it, like he always did with petty issues he could not care less about. Long, soft brown bangs hid a scar at his temple, closed lips not revealing a pearly white, but not-quite-perfect row of teeth, pants before shorts, and so on. Yuuta almost believed Syuusuke did not care. He never spoke of it in bitterness; he never made a number out of hiding what history had done to him. He just slid around it.

But, as Yuuta contemplated, his brother was always good at appearing unlike how he thought. He should have known, _must _have known; there was only so much even Syuusuke could handle.

After Yuuta finished High School at St Rudolph, he decided to move back home, much to his older brother's happiness and Mizuki Hajime's chagrin. Still, he was happy that he made this decision; he became much closer to his brother than he had been in years. Granted, whenever Mizuki came over, said brother would only escape to Tezuka Kunimitsu's house; but Yuuta did not really mind, he knew Syuusuke could not stomach his sneaky friend.

One such night, Syuusuke had told him that he would go with Tezuka to meet some of their old friends in the city. Of course, while this announcement came the very moment Mizuki stepped inside their house, Yuuta suspected they had actually planned it for quite a while. But he still did not mind; it was not that his brother never went out with friends, after all.

He did, however, ponder why his brother had not come home yet as he lay awake in his bed that night. Around 2 AM, and still his brother hand not returned. Mizuki had left a long time ago, and their parents and sister had gone to bed a couple of hours prior to himself. Again, it was not unusual for Syuusuke to stay out late; in reality, it was quite common for Yuuta to fall asleep before his brother returned whenever he went out. Still, it was a fleeting thought he held onto for only a second longer than usual. In hindsight, he would sigh and shake his head in recollection.

As Yuuta got up the following morning, no thoughts were spared to his brother. He ate his breakfast, still in a sleepy haze; he could never quite get used to separating himself from the comfort of a soft mattress underneath him, warm blanket shielding him from life. Eighteen years, and still he found getting out of bed a chore. It was fortunate it was still Sunday; he was not quite sure why himself, but somehow, he had not slept as well as he used to.

This was another thing he would later question the reason to.

"I'm going out," he announced as he finished his breakfast, casually. It was still any other day in the Fuji household, no one doubted that. Especially not Yuuta.

His mother only nodded with her perpetual smile, telling him to bring his phone and be home for dinner, which Yuuta had assured her that he would do, and taken off.

After moving back home and attending to the local high school, Yuuta had grown a lot closer to some of the tennis players from Seigaku, most particularly Momoshiro and Kaidoh, who surprisingly enough still retained quite a formidable friendship, despite considering themselves great rivals to this day.

It happened quite often that the three of them went out to play street tennis, for old time's sake, and today was such a time. All worries or uneasy feelings Yuuta might have had before meeting the duo vanished as soon as he gripped his racket, the familiar weight serving as a perfect way for him to ignore everything and just do what he loved and did best; play tennis.

Although he still managed to work on his skills at least once a week, Yuuta did not have the time to join the school team, which of course disappointed him greatly, but he really had no choice. Both Momo and Kaidoh were regulars by this point, though, and although Yuuta would not admit it, they were on a completely different level than himself.

Still, they were his friends, and neither looked down on him nor pitied him. They were all proud men, after all, and played to their hearts' content. And even though Yuuta most often ended up losing, he still enjoyed the peaceful time when he could let go of everything else and just rally some balls with his friends.

They had taken a short break to wipe off sweat and have a drink, the mood excellent with bad jokes and half-choked laughter rolling about, when Yuuta noticed his phone ringing. A quick glance at the display revealed the caller's ID; his mom.

Yuuta frowned for a second; it was weird, unusual, for his mom to call this early, if she ever called at all. Yuuta was more than old enough to care for himself, and even if he got late home for dinner (despite his mom telling him very specifically to be home for it), she rarely ever bothered him when he was out with friends. Why then…?

Without any further ado, he flipped the phone open with a curious look.

"Hello?"

"Yuuta." Instantly, his expression changed from one of slight expectation to a dead serious, if not even worried, look. His mother's voice was not cheerful, not reprimanding, not questioning. It was heavy, defeated, sad.

Momo and Kaidoh must have noticed his face, because they instantly stopped their bickering to look at their friend in worry. In less than a second, the atmosphere changed from playful and happy to insecure and nervous.

"What's the matter, mom?" Yuuta asked, frowning. Something must have happened.

"Syuusuke is at the hospital," his mother choked out bluntly. Yuuta felt his eyes widen. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind at once, and in his confusion, worry, fear – he could not pinpoint any exact notions to support himself on. What happened, was that why he never came home last night, is he okay, is it serious, was it the bar, had Tezuka done something, which hospital, what could he do…

His mother seemed to sense his confusion, but it appeared she was a bit at loss herself. In any case, Yuuta would have understand that perfectly, but at the moment he was too numb to have any coherent thoughts.

_Syuusuke…_

What if anything serious had happened to his precious brother? It must have, since he was at the hospital, and, if his mother's voice was anything to go by, not in any condition to go home immediately. And he had never stayed at the hospital before… It was true, Syuusuke was prone to accidents like no one Yuuta knew, but he had usually only gone for a quick fix at the ER, and then right back home with a loopy grin and half-hearted apologies for making everyone worry. But now, _the hospital, _and if his parents were not informed before now…

"We're going to the hospital now," his mother snapped Yuuta back to reality, and he found himself nodding, despite it being meaningless through the phone. "Should we pick you up?"

"Yes," Yuuta finally said, a bit hoarsely, and he frowned at himself. "I'm at the usual tennis courts."

"Good, we'll be there in ten minutes." And then she hung up. Yuuta followed suit, and closed his phone, still not quite realizing the absurdity of the situation. Syuusuke, his brother, was in the hospital, and he had no idea why, or how. This was something that just simply did not happen, not to him, not to Syuusuke…

"Hey, Yuuta," Momo called carefully, making his way over to the brunette. "Are you okay? Who was it?"

"It was mom." Yuuta stared hard at the phone, trapped between his fingers and deadly white knuckles. "Syuusuke's been hospitalized."

"What?" Momo exclaimed, his expression of shock mimicked on Kaidoh's face. "Shit, what happened?"

"I don't know," Yuuta shrugged, and sighed, frustration and helplessness mixing in with the worry, and he suddenly wished to be far, far away. "He went out yesterday and didn't come home, but… Well, now he's at the hospital."

"Shit," Momo repeated and gave a frown of his own.

"Do you think it's bad?" Kaidoh asked cautiously, already suspecting the answer from Yuuta's stiff, rigid posture ever since he answered the phone call, and the slow desperation that had taken over the boy seemingly without him noticing himself.

"Yes." Yuuta brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, a habit he had adopted from… _Syuusuke…_

"He's never been to the hospital before, I don't know, and mom sounded so upset, I…" He trailed off uncertainly and sighed again. "But we're going there now, I better leave."

"Of course," Momo nodded as Yuuta began putting his stuff in the worn tennis bag. "Tell him to get well from us, right?"

"Right," Yuuta nodded as he walked away, not turning back. He was too focused on blocking out the thought of _if he's even awake to receive such a greeting…_

The trip to the hospital was both devastatingly long and brutally short. From the moment their wine red family car pulled up to Yuuta and to when they suddenly stopped at the hospital, Yuuta only had one word on numb, dull repeat in his head.

_Syuusuke. Syuusuke. Syuusuke._

In the mantra of his brother's name, he kept all his emotions; the desperate wish for Syuusuke to be _fine, _the worry, the anger, shock, confusion, fright…

Yuuta would have been surprised at himself for his lack of control at the moment, if only he had been steady enough to think such a thing. Currently, his mind was only occupied by one thing.

_Syuusuke._

He did not pay attention when his parents talked to the young woman at the front desk, when they got his room number and the name of his doctor. He did not pay attention to the weird looking man in a hospital gown in the elevator, nor the nurse in the hallway who looked like he had just lost a food fight with a tomato lover.

Yuuta only followed blindly, trailed after his parents who kept as quiet as him, until they finally stopped outside a door. They exchanged a glance, and his mother looked back at him gently. Yuuta noted this, but did not really pay any heed to it. He was too impatient to step inside the doors to his brother, and yet he did not. He did not know what awaited in there, what could possibly have happened, would it be worse or better than anticipated?

No.

Stop thinking.

_Syuusuke._

His mother opened the door.

In true hospital fashion, most of the room was white, some sort of shining, sterile color. A sizable window reflecting white and grey skies only enhanced the window, and Yuuta tore his eyes from them to instead face the dreadful figure on the bed. Somehow, he felt reluctant to even look at his brother, and found himself distracted by the sight of Tezuka in a chair next to the bed.

Tezuka.

Was it his fault that Syuusuke was in here? Maybe, his mind told him, hazy judgment clouding coherent thoughts as he fought to suppress anger at the older male for something he most likely had nothing to do with.

But if he was here, then surely, something had happened at the bar? Tezuka was at the bar. Tezuka… Tezuka was the person closest to Syuusuke, save for Yuuta himself. Yuuta had always trusted Tezuka with Syuusuke's safety, even if he was not always as friendly towards the older. But now…

Now, Tezuka had _failed._

And Syuusuke had to pay the price.

No, Yuuta quickly told himself as confusion, sadness and worry keeled over for anger towards Tezuka. He could not judge like that, he had no right, and he knew nothing. Syuusuke would not want that.

Then again, what would Syuusuke want? Could he say so himself, right now?

Yuuta blinked a couple of times as his gaze moved towards Syuusuke's still body on the bed. But reluctance still clung, and he only looked to Syuusuke's feet first, the forms of them barely visible through the blanket. Nothing wrong there, but what could be so bad about his feet, anyways.

He did not notice his parents moving closer to the bed, his father putting one hand on Tezuka's shoulder as the bespectacled young man rose and bowed, his mother settling down in the now empty chair wordlessly. Yuuta did not follow them. Instead, he slowly moved his eyes up Syuusuke's blanket covered body, scrutinizing everything as best as he could. He knew he was being weird, but he could not help it. He was downright terrified of what could have happened to his brother, and now he was here, he was so close, he could know, only a slight flicker of dark orbs, and he could _see – _

But Yuuta was afraid that it might be so bad, being left in the dark could be a bliss.

He was being unreasonable in his own mind, he knew – it could not possibly be that bad, and anyways, he would live, he always would, Syuusuke was never badly damaged. But he never stayed so still at the hospital either…

Yuuta boldly stepped closer to the bed.

He had managed to look to Syuusuke's hands now, resting comfortably on top of the blanket. One was folded on top of his stomach, the other lay limp to his side, an IV sticking out from it, and Yuuta subconsciously felt his breath speed up only a little, IVs were never good, they were always a sign of bad conditions…

On the other hand, so far, nothing appeared to be wrong with Syuusuke. No insane bandages, no casts, no awkwardly positioned body parts… Maybe he had suddenly become seriously ill?

But one look at Syuusuke's face stilled his every thought.

He was pale, almost white, nowhere near his usual delicate pallor. Brown hair fanned over the pillow, cradling a thin neck constricted by white strips of fabric, and contrasting ever so sharply to the overwhelming number of patches of gauze and bandage. The entire right side of Syuusuke's face was covered, as well as most of his forehead and parts of his nose. On his left, he only had a couple of small Band-Aids, but other minor scratches were red and angry on the pale skin. Such an angelic, sweet face, but now, it was mostly covered by the telltale blank color that reflected so easily off the walls. The white of the bandages blended until soft pink lips, barely parted to let shallow, shaky breaths in and out, but Syuusuke himself was unconscious, still.

Yuuta was at loss for words, and perhaps even more so feelings. What had happened, was the question that kept repeating itself in his head. Was this good? Was this preferable to any other scenario he unconsciously had conjured in his head? How serious was it, should he be happy or sad?

Moreover, what hid underneath the bandages?

"Tell us what happened, Tezuka-kun." His father's voice broke into Yuuta's thoughts, and the three Fuji's still healthy turned to look at the young man.

"It was the bar," he sighed helplessly, looking more vulnerable than Yuuta had ever seen him. "A couple of guys were fighting, it had nothing to do with us… But they got violent, and Syuusuke got caught in the crossfire. One of them threw a broken glass at the other, but it hit Syuusuke instead."

His mother gasped, and his father frowned. Yuuta just stood there dumbly, not sure what to do. But the feeling of anger, fury, rose in his chest again, and now that he knew what happened, he felt a desperate need to blame someone, _someone, _for hurting his older brother. He knew who he should blame, who he would blame, but he did not know who that person was, so he settled for the second best – he blamed Tezuka. He should blame whoever tossed the glass, he knew as much, but until he could see the face of the assailant, Tezuka's was the only one he had to connect to anything, the only one he could vent on.

But it was not fair to Tezuka, and he knew that in the back of his mind. If anything, he should be grateful for him staying with Syuusuke until now. But the flicker of calm thought did nothing to sooth his inflamed emotions. He desperately wanted to lash out, throw a punch at the bespectacled man, but his every instinct screamed at him to be quiet – be still. It would not help Syuusuke in any way, and that was the thought that kept his trembling fist at his side. He could have ignored the presence of his parents, he could have ignored every ounce of respect he once held for Tezuka, and he could have ignored the fact that they were at a hospital – but he could not ignore Syuusuke.

Fortunately for Yuuta, a distraction was provided by the door to the room opening again, and a doctor stepped in, a folder tucked underneath his arms.

"Family of Fuji Syuusuke?" He asked gently as he observed the newcomers. His father affirmed this, and the doctor cleared his throat before continuing.

"First of all," he started. "I just want you to know that your son has been very lucky."

"Lucky?" Yuuta's father echoed in interruption. "How is this lucky? My son's face was torn open by glass shards, I would hardly consider that lucky!"

"You're right sir, naturally," the doctor agreed easily, not missing a beat. "But considering the situation, it could have been much worse. It steered clear of the eyes, it's especially a miracle that the right one is relatively undamaged. It is impossible to see at the moment, but he got one cut right under it that needed three stitches, as well as the biggest running from his cheek to well over the eyebrow. That particular one was very deep, to the bone, in fact. We still have the pictures of the raw condition and after we stitched, if you would like to see, though it's perfectly understandable if you prefer not to."

"Maybe later," Yuuta's mother said thickly. "Please continue."

"Right." The doctor opened his file and flipped a couple of sheets before looking up again. "He also lost a lot of blood, and the shards nicked an artery in his right temple. But we got it under control, and he should be able to go home in a week, perhaps, if we are able to stabilize his blood properly and he doesn't get any infections, which we want to prevent at all costs, in this case."

"How…" His mother started, and frowned a little. "What will… Happen to him afterwards?"

"Unfortunately, he will have some severe scarring, particularly on the right side," the doctor sighed. "We've already had a plastic surgeon work with us during the initial surgery, to fix what we could, but there is little else to do, not with the depth and extension like this. There was also some nerve damage near the right eye, as I mentioned earlier, which might result in temporarily loss of control of the muscles there, but we won't know that for sure until he wakes up."

"Thank you," the Fuji patriarch replied stiffly, and the doctor took his cue to leave, but not before informing the family and Tezuka of his contact information. He was promptly forgotten.

"Poor thing…" Yuuta's mother cooed as she brushed over soft, brown hair slightly. It broke Yuuta's heart to see his brother unresponsive to the touch.

But at least he was okay. He would live, he would be fine. Eventually. He would see, he would run, he would laugh.

Although Yuuta could not shake off the nervous, scared feeling of worry, and he suspected it would linger for quite a while. There was absolutely nothing 'okay' about the situation, though it was better than what it could have been, it was still worse than what it could have been as well.

Yuuta supposed he should be grateful that his brother was not dying or anything like that.

He only had one brother, after all. Yumiko was his lovable sister, but due to the age difference, he had always been closer to Syuusuke. Syuusuke had always been there for him, done everything he could for Yuuta… And Yuuta loved him dearly. If anything were to happen to Syuusuke, he did not know what he would do. His rather chaotic mindset for the previous hour should have served as a confirmation to that.

But still, he had to frown at the irony at the situation, for he would most certainly not 'smile' or 'laugh' at it. Syuusuke had always attracted accidents that ended badly for himself, but he had always managed to hide the scars and move on as if nothing happened. That would not be possible… Not this time.

What would happen to Syuusuke's pretty, prideful face? How would he react?

Although Syuusuke was not the vainest creature around, it would be a lie to say that he did not care about his appearance, because he did, in fact. And his face was his pride, Yuuta knew as much, and even if he scoffed at the older at times, it was one of the many quirks that made Syuusuke _Syuusuke._

He was not looking forward to how his brother would take that particular hit.

And if he were to be quite honest, he was not looking forward to seeing his brother's mutilated face once the bandages were removed, either. It was a weird feeling, knowing that he would never see Syuusuke's perfect face anymore, except in pictures. It would still be his brother, but it would be so different, and a constant reminder of this day…

Other people, what would they think. New people. Future employers, future girlfriends. Their old friends.

No, people were not that shallow, Yuuta allowed himself to think as he unconsciously moved forward until he was standing directly above his brother's face, ignoring the three others in the room. How could anyone ever think Syuusuke was any less than perfect, anyways? He was kind, he was smart, he might be a bit loopy at times, but still, that was the way Yuuta loved him.

He did not understand why the world wanted to be unfair to Syuusuke, he concluded as he tentatively reached out to gently brush the exposed skin, cold but soft. He did not like it.

After staying for a while, the Fuji family ventured home, leaving Tezuka, who still refused to leave, alone at the hospital. Yuuta's stomach was churning uncomfortably the entire time, though he struggled more and more with identifying it. In the end, he just blamed it on feeling bad because his brother was stuck at the hospital, and that is the kind of things one would usually feel bad for.

He slept uneasily that night, if he ever slept at all; he could not really tell, but suddenly, it was morning, and he had left for school. Momo and Kaidoh had looked at him curiously and cautiously, but Yuuta did not feel comfortable talking about the incident with his brother, so he stubbornly ignored it and pretended nothing was wrong, although it was blatantly obvious to most that it was. But he was glad that he was left alone with issue, nonetheless.

Yuuta did not dare visit his brother again, mostly because he was afraid of Syuusuke's own state of mind when he woke up, though he knew that he would be faced with that particular challenge when Syuusuke came home. But for now, it was enough for Yuuta to know that Syuusuke was okay, and that Tezuka visited him every day.

Although he was still a bit iffy towards Tezuka, Yuuta had calmed down considerably, at least enough to thank the older properly for staying with his brother when he himself could not. Tezuka had only nodded understandingly then, in the typical, quiet fashion Tezuka did most things. Yuuta almost felt annoyed.

It took a week and a half before Syuusuke came home, merry as ever as he pranced around the house, and even their parents were pretty much back to normal, save some occasional fretting from their mom whenever Syuusuke would animate his face too much and unwillingly stretch something painful.

Yuuta had to wonder if he was the only one who struggled with the situation.

Or had struggled, at least; he had to admit, he was beginning to come to terms with it as well, though he still dreaded the day Syuusuke would remove the bandages hiding half his face.

It took three more weeks after that before they were finally removed, and one month after he first heard the dreadful news, Yuuta was able to take in the full extent of Syuusuke's damages.

Although he suspected the wounds looked a lot better now than they had done earlier, it was still not a pretty sight. The long and deep gash the doctor had talked about stretched from Syuusuke's cheek, narrowly missing his eye, and well above the eyebrow before it curled over on his forehead. Yuuta could not immediately count how many stitches there were, and he did not want to try either. Another one under his right eye, standing more out than Yuuta would have though, as well as a more shallow, but longer further down to his chin. The final scar worth noticing was one that started on his chin and trailed down to the pail neck, eventually fading into Syuusuke's t-shirt. The skin was a nice mix of yellow and violet some places, with blotches of red, which Yuuta suspected were faded bruises, and other minor scrapes that were mostly healed around his face.

It was somehow not as terrible as he expected, despite the cuts themselves being quite terrifying, and especially the thought of how close to blinding Syuusuke the shards had been frightened Yuuta. The right eye occasionally twitched a bit, something Syuusuke himself did not seem to notice, but it was only another painful reminder to Yuuta.

Although he supposed the outcome was better than feared, he was still greatly saddened to take in his brother's new face. It did not really matter to him how Syuusuke looked, but knowing his brother had such a great face and then lost it to something… Something like this! It seemed unfair, that his brother somehow did not appear like the angel he was, that someone else's retardedness had to effect his Syuusuke, that Syuusuke had to suffer for it.

Because Syuusuke did suffer, even if he did not show it. Yuuta knew. It was always that way with Syuusuke, but he could not hide it from Yuuta anymore. Yuuta heard, when he sighed heavily in front of the mirror, or sniffed and cried in his bed late at night, and he heard the muffled, pained cries as he struggled to disinfect and reapply plasters each day.

And how it pained Yuuta.

But when confronted by it, Syuusuke would just say that yes, of course he was sad, his face had just been destroyed, and of course it hurt, his skin had been sliced open to the bone where it was the most sensitive.

"But it's fine, really," he assured Yuuta. "I can survive this, after all."

Syuusuke should not have to survive this. Why did he suffer from something so random, so insignificant, something that did not concern him at all? What cruel fate was that.

One year later, Yuuta still frowned to open their mailbox and see a letter to Syuusuke, decorated with the hospital's insignia. Still not over it, still not done.

It was true that Syuusuke's face had healed better than everyone expected, but that still did not mean his face was back to how it was before, and he still had no control of the nerves around his right eye. That was not Syuusuke's face anymore, it was only remnants of it. You could still see, still trace what had once been Fuji Syuusuke's visual pride, but not now, not anymore, he had lost it. He was damaged and scarred for life, that was for sure – Syuusuke had been so young, and yet he had already lost something so important to him.

And still he kept going each day as if it did not matter, but Yuuta knew, he knew it mattered – he saw when Syuusuke still would poke at the healed scars, as healed as would be, anyway, idly trace a delicate finger alongside the harsh lines that stood out so much against otherwise perfect, flawless skin, and even though he often joked that he looked more manly and handsome now, Yuuta knew he detested his new appearance.

But there was nothing to do. No surgery could fix it, make-up was not enough to hide them. Syuusuke had tried, with the help of Yumiko, and not even he had managed to hide his disappointment at the rather blatant failure.

Yuuta had, eventually, accepted the tragic events and what sorrow followed as the course of life – just like some people were diagnosed with terminal illnesses or others died in car accidents, unforeseen events happened and did so much to lives of innocent people.

But if he ever found out who threw that glass, Yuuta knew for sure that he would murder the man.

And despite his best efforts, Yuuta could still not get over the panicked feeling he felt that day, nearly one year ago. It was silly of him, he knew, he was not the one who suffered, hell, he was not even there to see the traumatic event, like Tezuka was – and yet he felt as if he had been affected so much worse than the stoic man.

Now, whenever Syuusuke said that he was going out with some friends, out in town, anything, Yuuta felt that suddenly so familiar twinge of fear. It was irrational, of course, and he could do nothing to stop him, but he was scared about his brother going out again. But what was he to do, when not even Syuusuke himself seemed to mind?

But Yuuta had at least learned one more thing from his brother's accidents, just like usual. After that incident, Yuuta never trusted other people with alcohol.

He just wished his brother would learn from the accidents as well, but Yuuta figured there was a reason why Syuusuke was the ones with all the scars.

Even if Yuuta hated it.

* * *

><p>One year later, this is for you, big bro, even though you will never read it.<p> 


End file.
